This is the story of how a water bottle wrecked my heart...

I originally posted this on FB a couple months ago (before I had this blog up and running). It hit so many, that I thought it was something I wanted to share here too.

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Post from April 9, 2019

To get to today, we must go back. It is no surprise to many that Chris and I have been in a season of simplifying. It started about two years ago when I entered a time of depression and darkness from working too much. I felt like I was under so much pressure and I just couldn't escape. So I made the tough decision to let some clients go and cut back my business.

A few months later we felt God asking us to sell our home and simplify even more. So, we sold our home and cleared out many, many rooms (and two garages) full of "things" when we moved.

Then, my dad passed.

Last year was harder on us than we could have ever imagined with my mom feeling the "brunt" of our massive loss. I spent many days trying to console her and her broken heart.

Through this time we cut back and purged more. Not just "things" but commitments as well. We no longer wanted to be the people that were just "busy" all the time. We didn't want to be going here and there with a million things to do and no time to help those around us.

We have gotten our life to an amazing place of having less "stuff" and so many fewer commitments. It is now to where when someone wants to get together we are able to say "yes!" almost every time. Which we are SO grateful for.

However, in this season of helping my mom and kids heal the holes left by my dad's passing, working became less of an option and priority. I had to put my family first. With that I was unable to put as much into my business as I once had. Some people understood and were so incredibly patient with me through it all, others had to move on to find someone else. Which is also totally understandable.

So as the amount of business I was able to take on declined, so did our income. Which brings me to our current season.

Over the past couple months it has been on my heart to really cut back all of our spending. We have always lived generously and have felt like we were good stewards of what we did have. As things have shifted, we have had to shift as well. Cutting back on our giving has never been an option, so we had to find other things.

I have never fasted anything for Lent, but this year, it was just on my heart. So, for the past 5 weeks I (and poor Chris has gotten pulled into it!) have fasted two things:

#1 Eating out unless it is with a gift card that we have been given. With a family of 5 it isn't EVER less than $20-25 for a meal.

#2 No frivolous/unnecessary spending. No just buying stuff because it is on sale, no stocking up because it is a "good deal". Nothing. So, I have used gift cards to purchase much needed socks for Brady and traded Amazon gift cards we had for Visa gift cards the boys got for their birthday to be able to buy flowers to plant our pots out front. We have done "homemade" birthday presents for parties or the kids found stuff they never used to be able to give away.

So this leads me to the water bottle. A few weeks ago the water bottle I have used for years to travel started leaking from a hole in the bottom. There was no saving it, so I sadly had to pitch it. So today, as I took back some unneeded flowers to home depot, there it was. Everything I loved about my old water bottle. It was tall, but thin, had a straw and a pop-up top, AND it was on sale for only $9.50! So, I justified buying it because I have some long work trips planned and will "need" it for traveling. So, out the door I went.

Then, it broke. My heart that is.

We have water bottles at home. In fact, we have several. Sure they don't have a straw and a pop-up lid, but they are all capable of holding the same water that this new one can.

So I failed. I gave in to my selfishness and bought something I "wanted" but didn't "need".

The truth is this. If I just go and get everything just because in the moment I think I "need" it, what am I learning? This has become so much more than just trying to save money. This season has become a time of truly valuing the people around me and finding a way to own what I already have.

If I never sacrifice what I "want" how will I ever know the pure joy that comes from getting something I have waited so long for?

And the truth is, life isn't about stuff. It's about the people we can impact.

Maybe one day I'll buy myself a new water bottle, but not today. Today, I'm thankful that I have a home that keeps me and my family warm, dry, safe, sheltered and it also provides me the ability to keep all my "things" organized so I can grab a different water bottle from the shelf...

#waterbottleheartbreak #BeStrong #GiveGrace #BeAWillow